Obama To Choose Portuguese Water Dog Or Labradoodle
Future headlines might read like “why didn’t Obama choose an American Breed?” I can see the tabloids now. Of course, these would be referring to the soon-to-be-adopted puppy the Obama’s will bring to the White House.
I know many of you will wonder what this has to do with Social Commerce, but I wanted to educate anyone who didn’t know what our first dog will be about. Nothing more social then helping someone decide about the purchase (commerce) of a new puppy!
The tradition of a First Dog in Washington is long, storied, and steeped in tradition. Some people remember the dogs of the Presidents better than they remember the men who’ve held the office. Often, I wonder if the dog wouldn’t have made better decisions.
With the announcement that Obama has promised his girls a puppy when they move to D.C., a clamor from various animal activist groups resulted, stating that he should elect (ha!) to rescue a dog from the shelter. This amidst the usual “this is all a distraction” taunts from the conspiracy nuts (who’re at least half right). Then came Obama’s badly-timed remark that finding a dog has been harder than choosing a Secretary of Commerce.
Reports from the Obama camp say that he’s received more advice on the choice of dog than on any other subject so far: including foreign policy, domestic policy, security, etc. Yep, Americans love their dogs and celebrity dogs are especially dear.
The President-elect then announced on ABC News that he’s narrowed the choice down to a Portuguese Water Dog or a Labradoodle. The next morning, I had coffee with a friend and brought this up and he summed it up: “What the hell is a labra-whattle?” It’s a “labrador-poodle” mix and these designer dogs are quite popular, despite not being a recognized breed. Leave it to Americans to popularize a melting-pot dog. I think this should be Obama’s choice just for pure PC sake.
Of course, in order to be in the know, I had to do some research. Both of these dogs are notably poodle-like in appearance. Curly hair, generally shaggy looks, without the primp of the showcase poodles you see at the dog shows. Both breeds offer something potentially useful to the White House.
The Portuguese Water Dog is a breed that was molded by Portuguese fishermen to act as a general in-the-water tool. One of the tasks they are particularly good at is carrying messages from ship-to-ship, which could come in handy during secret meetings. Who would suspect the dog coming to the President’s side to be petted is really carrying a secret missive? These dogs come in both wavy and curly, but if you ask me which one is better I will of course say the curly Breed, since my very own Portuguese Water Dog Phantom happens to be one. I would also like to mention that should Obama pick the Portuguese Water Dog (or as those in the know refer to as PWD or Porties) , I picked it way before it was cool. Actually maybe Obama is copying me? If Obama should choose this rare breed, expect for the prices to rise until they are mass produced. Portuguese Water Dogs could cost more then $2000. Expect the White House to have wet carpets, as if these dogs see water they make a bee line and dive in!
Labradoodles, on the other hand, come from Australia and so exhibit the characteristic outback toughness and coolness under fire of all Australians. Their true strength comes from their Labrador background, however: no one can resist a lab. It’s scientifically proven and therefore a labradoodle (being both a conversation starter and a cuddler) could act as a much-needed distraction when required. So during the next scandal or awkward “where’d the translator go?” moment, the labradoodle could provide a much-needed diplomatic service.
Which leads us to White House scandal and more tabloid news. The question is whether it will be the dog, Obama’s lack of sleep because he chose a puppy, or the Obama girls slacking on cleaning up the lawn and foreign dignitaries stepping in it. I’m guessing a combination.
As if taking over the Presidency of our country isn’t a big enough job, Obama is now going to take on a new puppy too. Bad move, I think, unless he can find a good personal assistant. It’s a full-time, 24/7/365 job that requires serious commitment. Running the country isn’t easy either, I bet.
Not to mention convincing your kids after a week that the dog is still their responsibility and they need to keep the lawn clean so prime ministers and kings and such aren’t ruining their shoes. I can see the foreign relations crisis and our teetering on the brink of the next world war due to a land mine at the White House during a dignitary’s visit…
And as a shameless plug to Phantom:
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